So I recently finished the acclaimed novel "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin, and I have to say I was moved. There was something about Edna Ponteilier's struggle to be unchained, free, independent that resounded within me. I felt something inside myself tremble as the words across the page moved from my eyes to my mind and down through my body. It was a catharsis of prose, and it led me to realize things about myself I had never even thought to try and understand.
I learned that throughout my life I've been crushed by what was expected of me. I've been expected to do well in school because I am 'exceptional'. I've been expected to want to have a girlfriend, to want sex, to want marriage because 'Who doesn't'. Well i don't, Edna knew I how I felt, she felt it her entire life. It suffocated her and in the end it stole her life away from her. She suffered so much that even her children were but leeches, siphoning her soul away from her; but at the same time, she loved them too much to resent that. She fought for the last semblance of freedom she could find in a world that would not accept her. She took her own life in an act of defiance. She defied her husband, she defied her children, and she defied those that sought to see her chained.
In the end I felt the sinking feeling in my stomach that a part of me had died. I felt the pang of fear as I came to understand that this world Edna lived in was not unlike our own. We are all owned by someone, sometimes because we are told we have to be, or want to be. Don't ever let anyone own you Sam, don't ever let anyone tell you can't do something, regardless of who they are. I don't care if it's the President, the world, your parents, or even Barry. Always be who you are and do what you feel is right and makes you happy. Because, though you may love them, you will lose yourself to them, and it will eat away at you in the weakest moments of your life.
I might sound crazy, and since you'll never read this I'm sure it is crazy, as i somewhat intended it to be. What this isn't though, is some kind of elaborate joke. To be possessed by yourself, to own your own soul, is a daunting task. You have to hurt some people to do it, but in the end, there is nothing more satisfying.
Shikamarana
something really pertinent and moving